Stop Being the Expert (And Start Being the Guide)

Want to know the BIGGEST mistake I see coaches making?

It's not poor exercise programming.

It's not lack of technical knowledge.

It's something way more dangerous...

The Expert Trap

You know the one.

Your client starts talking about their challenges, and within 30 seconds, you've already diagnosed the problem AND crafted the perfect solution.

Sound familiar?

Here's what's really happening:

While they're sharing their story, you're mentally flicking through your coaching toolbox.

"Ah, this sounds like a confidence issue... I'll use the goal-setting framework."

"Classic motivation problem... Time for my habit-stacking approach."

"They need accountability... I know exactly what program to give them."

But here's the real deal...

You're not listening.

You're performing.

The Performance vs Presence Problem

Let's get real for a minute.

We've been trained to be the expert with all the answers.

The moment someone mentions they're struggling, we jump into solution mode.

We nod at the right times.

Make those "mmm-hmm" sounds.

Maintain perfect eye contact.

But inside our heads?

We're rehearsing our response!

We're thinking about which framework to deploy next.

Which success story to share…

How to position ourselves as the coach with the magic solution….

And guess what happens?

We miss EVERYTHING that actually matters.

What Your Legends Are REALLY Saying

Here's what I learned the hard way...

When someone says "I don't have time to exercise," they might really be saying, "I don't feel worthy of investing in myself."

When they say "I keep starting and stopping," they might be saying "I'm terrified of failing again."

When they say "I don't know where to start," they might be saying "I need permission to go slow."

But if you're busy being the expert?

You'll give them a time management solution.

A motivation strategy.

A beginner's program.

All wrong!

The Moment Everything Changes

I remember sitting with a Legend who kept talking about "getting back into shape."

Old me would have started programming immediately.

New me? I just listened.

Really listened.

Not to craft my response.

Not to find the right intervention.

Just... listened.

And you know what I heard?

She wasn't talking about fitness at all.

She was talking about feeling invisible.

About wanting to feel strong again after a divorce.

About needing to prove to herself that she could commit to something.

My perfect workout plan would have been USELESS.

What she needed was to be seen.

To be heard.

To know that her story mattered.

How to Stop Being the Expert and Start Being the Guide

Ready for this?

Put down your mental frameworks.

Stop scanning for solutions.

Start listening for what they're NOT saying.

The pauses.

The energy shifts.

The emotion behind the words.

Ask yourself:

"What are they really asking for?"

"What permission do they need?"

"What are they afraid to admit?"

Because here's the truth...

The best coaches aren't the ones with all the answers.

They're the ones who help people find THEIR answers.

Your New Listening Challenge

This week, try this:

In your next Discovery chat, resist the urge to solve.

Just be present.

Let the silence do the work.

Ask: "What else?"

And then... wait.

Really wait.

You might be surprised by what emerges.

Remember...

Your job isn't to be the smartest person in the room.

It's to help your Legends feel heard, understood, and capable of their own transformation.

The solutions will come.

But first, they need to feel safe enough to share what's REALLY going on.

You got this!

Cheers!

Paul